I'm a little ashamed to admit that I'm afraid to live by myself. I don't, of course, I have Eels. And before that, I lived with my parents. For many, many years.
Here's the embarrassing part: I'm afraid to be alone at night. And I'm almost 28 years old!
Take, for example, a few years ago. My parents drove my brother out to college and left me at home alone overnight to watch the dogs. I was alone, in my parents' house in the totally safe suburb I grew up in.
OR WAS I? Every creak was a poltergeist. Every bump was the footstep of a serial killer. Every time the dogs barked, they were barking at the rapists, waiting outside the windows for me to let my guard down.
Unreasonable? Absolutely. But who enjoys a solo sleepover? That's why you're supposed to host crazy keg parties when your parents go out of town - so you won't be alone in a creepy house all night!
Besides, this is New York! Nobody can afford to live without roommates.
Quick! Name a fabulous sitcom where people DIDN'T have roommates! It's a trick question. You can't! Will had Grace! The Two Broke Girls have each other. Marshall and Lily had Ted, then Ted had Marshall, then Ted had Robin, then I stopped watching because the show got boring.
And didn't all the Friends share that impossibly gorgeous apartment together? It was like, twenty years ago, I can't remember. And now I feel old.
So, really, who wants to be alone? Would you rather be cowering under your comforter, wondering what that weird banging noise coming from the basement is? Or, would you rather turn on a lava lamp, make some popcorn, throw a frozen pizza in the oven and stay up all night telling swapping stories and jokes with your roommates?Here's the thing: in terms of growing up, moving out and living by yourself is considered a milestone. For some, a first apartment is considered the hallmark of being an adult! OR IS IT? Let's ask Blanche Devereaux, whose fateful bulletin board posting seeking roommates led to one of the greatest sitcoms of all time:
I rest my case.